Harry Potter Special

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Harry Potter Special

The Harry Potter series is essentially a 7-book guide to everything you wish your childhood was - finding out you're a wizard, running away from home, and indulging in a bevy of treats both mainstay and magical. Rock cakes, cockroach clusters, acid pops, chocolate frogs, and of course, butterbeer. Throw on your dorky glasses and sharpie a lightning bolt on your forehead for this week's examination of the real-world sweets from possibly the world's most popular book series about child sorcerers.

 

Ingredients

  • 2 sugar pie pumpkins
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • Pinch of nutmeg
  • Pinch of ground cloves
  • 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
  • Pinch of allspice
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla paste.
  • ½ cup of brown sugar
  • ¼ cup of maple syrup
  • 1 large egg
  • Pinch of kosher salt
  •  

For Crust:

  • ¼ cup water
  • ¼ cup vodka
  • 11.5 oz all purpose flour
  • 1 oz sugar
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 ½ sticks of semi frozen unsalted butter

Method: Pumpkin Pastry   

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Cut two pumpkins in half and scoop the seeds out.
  3. Place the pumpkin halves pumpkin side down on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and place in the oven for 30-40 minutes.
  4. Puree ⅗ of the roasted pumpkin
  5. Add ½ cup of heavy cream, a pinch of nutmeg, a pinch of ground cloves, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, a pinch of allspice, 1 teaspoon of vanilla paste, ½ cup of brown sugar, ¼ cup of maple sugar, 1 large egg and a pinch of kosher salt, mix well in food processor till smooth.

 

For The Crust:

  1. Mix the ¼ cup of water and the ¼ cup of vodka together in small bowl and place in freezer until it’s almost frozen.
  2. Place ⅔ of your flour into the food processor with an oz of sugar and a teaspoon of salt
  3. Pulse to combine before adding two and ½ sticks of semi frozen unsalted butter.
  4. Process for 10 seconds or until it's a pebbly texture
  5. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and fold in water/vodka mixture a couple tablespoons at a time.
  6. Then add the rest of the flour and water/vodka mixture and continues to fold until mixture becomes a shaggy dough.
  7. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour or more.
  8. After its rested roll out the dough and cut it into 4 inch rounds.
  9. Brush one edge with beaten egg yolk and fill the center with a tablespoon or two of pumpkin pie filling.
  10. Fold the dough over and crimp shut.
  11. Brush with egg yolk and sprinkle with granulated sugar
  12. Place in 400 degree oven for 20-30 minutes.

Ingredients

  • ¼ cup water
  • ¼ cup vodka
  • 11.5 oz all purpose frour
  • 1 oz sugar
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 ½ sticks of semi frozen unsalted butter
  • 12 inch removable bottom tart pan

 

For Tart

  • 16 oz. light molasses
  • 2 tbs of butter
  • 3 tbs heavy cream
  • ¼ cup bread crumbs
  • 1 large egg

Method: Treacle Tart

For Crust:

  1. Combine 2 ½ sticks of semi frozen unsalted butter with the flour and the salt, and mix with fingers until combined.
  2. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and fold in water/vodka mixture a couple tablespoons at a time.
  3. Then add the rest of the flour and water/vodka mixture and continues to fold until mixture becomes a shaggy dough.
  4. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour or more.
  5. After its rested roll out enough dough to cover the bottom half of a 12 inch removable bottom tart pan.
  6. Roll dough around rolling pin and unfurl it on top of the tart pan. Lift the dough and press down to get it in all the corners.
  7. Trim the excess and press into the sides of the pan. Poke some holes in the bottom with a fork, and gently line with alumnim foil.
  8. Use a pie weight (I used cornmeal) to go on top of the foil and blind bake 15 minutes in an oven at 400°

 

For Filling:

  1. Take 16 oz. of light molasis and combine with 2 tbs of butter on a low heat just until the butter melts.
  2. Add 3 tbs of heavy cream and whisk rigioursly until the mixture cools slightly, and then beat in ¼ cup of bread crumbs and 1 large egg. Make sure the mixture is cooled off enough to not cook the egg.
  3. Add filling to baked pie crust and place in a 350° oven for 45-50 minutes.
  4. Allow to cool completely.
  5. Add whipped cream
  6. Serve and enjoy!

Ingredients

  • 1 egg white
  • 2 oz. butterscotch schnapps
  • 1 oz. heavy cream
  • 1 pinch vanilla extract
  • ½ oz simple syrup
  • Ice

Method: Butterbeer

  1. Combine egg white, butterscotch schnapps, heavy cream, vanilla extract, simple syrup, and ice into a shaker.
  2. Shake until frothy.
  3. Add 1/2 of mixture to a glass with some cream soda.
  4. Serve and enjoy!

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Triple-Decker Eggo Extravaganza from Stranger Things

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Triple-Decker Eggo Extravaganza from Stranger Things

Eleven is a sci-fi heroine with a proclivity for burgers, fries, and above all, America's favorite freezer waffle: Eggos. But when you stack them thrice high, layer them with whipped cream and Hershey kisses, and top with Reese's Pieces and jelly beans - you can summon her from even the angstiest of adolescent protests.

 

Ingredients

For Waffles:

  • 2 ½ cups pastry flour
  • ½ cup malt powder
  • 2 tbs cornmeal
  • 2 tbs buttermilk powder
  • ½ tsp baking soda
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 tsp white sugar
  • 1 packet active dry yeast
  • 2 ⅔ cups milk
  • ½ cup canola oil
  • 2 eggs
  • Freeze dried strawberries
  • Freeze dried banana
  • Freeze dried blueberries
  • 8 oz. heavy whipping cream
  • 2 tsp white sugar
  • Pinch of vanilla paste or extract
  • Hot fudge sauce (from Michael Scott Pretzel Episode)
  • Peanut butter drizzle (from Michael Scott Pretzel Episode)

 

Ingredients for syrup:

  • 1 cup maple syrup
  • ½ cup heavy cream
  • 2 tbs butter

Method

  1. Sift pastry flour, malt powder, cornmeal, buttermilk powder, baking soda, salt, white sugar, and active dry yeast packet into a mixing bowl.
  2. Heat 2 ⅔ cups of milk and ½ cup of canola oil to 110° and slowly drizzle it into mixture while you stir. Then add 2 eggs and whisk until batter barely comes together. It’s okay if there’s lumps. Let mixture sit for 2 hours.
  3. For toppings, take freeze dried fruit and place in food processor and process until ground.
  4. For whipped cream, combine 8 oz of heavy whipping cream with 2 tsp of white sugar and a pinch of vanilla extract or vanilla paste. Whip until whipped.
  5. For maple butter sauce, combine 1 cup of maple syrup with ½ cup of heavy whipping cream and 2 tbs of butter in a pot and cook for 5-10 minutes. Be sure to chill completely before serving.
  6. When batter is done, ladle into a waffle maker and cook for 3-5 minutes.
  7. On a plate make a circle of hot fudge sauce, peanut butter drizzle, and maple syrup butter sauce. Place a waffle segment on each sauce, top with a whipped cream quenelle, and dust each waffle with some freeze dried fruit. Strawberry over the chocolate, banana over the peanut butter, and blueberry over the maple syrup. Dig in and enjoy!

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Clay-Roasted Thigh from Hannibal

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Clay-Roasted Thigh from Hannibal

The history of eating one's fellow man is rich with culinary tradition and innovation, carried on in no small part by Dr. Hannibal Lecter. In this pivotal scene, he gives a fellow killer a taste of his own medicine, so to speak - if, at the time, he had medicine in his bloodstream, because he's eating his own leg. So to speak.

 

Ingredients

  • 4 lb Non toxic, non polymer, oven hardening clay
  • 9 Shallots peeled and halved
  • 3 Cloves halved garlic
  • ½ cup of Dong Quai
  • 4 medium sized pieces of Tong Sum
  • 1 cup dried Shitaki Mushrooms
  • ½ cup Dried Longan Flesh
  • ½ cup of Dried Gocce Berries
  • 1 whole Pork Loin
  • Salt
  • Fresh ground Pepper
  • 3oz prosciutto
  • 2 large  reconstituted lotus leaf
  • 1 large beef marrow bone halved lengthwise
  • ¼ cup Parsley
  • ¼ cup Olive oil
  • ¼ cup White wine vinegar

Method

  1. Combine the dried dong quai, tong sum and half of the shiitake mushrooms in blender or food processor and process until they become a fine powder.
  2. Reconstitute the longan flesh, gocce berries and the rest of the shitaki mushrroms for 15 minutes in hot water, then dry thoroughly.
  3. Cut pork loin in half and trim fat and silverskin, Butterfly each piece.
  4. Generously season both sides with salt and ground pepper. Then sprinkle the inside of each piece with the root and mushroom seasoning mixture.
  5. Place a generous heap of reconstituted longan flesh, gocce berry’s and shitaki mushrooms on the inside of one piece then add halved shallots and garlic cloves. Place the other piece of pork loin on top.
  6. Shingle the top of the roast with prosciutto.
  7. Tie the whole roast tight with butchers twine.
  8. Double wrap roast with lotus leaves
  9. Lay down a bottom layer of clay larger than the roast on baking sheet and place the roast on top. Then begin shingling the top of the roast with clay to create two layers that you can join together to create a seal package.
  10. Once covered create a ventilation hole on the top and place the roast in a 275 degree oven for 3 1/2 hours.
  11. Set roast aside and turn oven up to 450 degrees and roast beef bones for 15 minutes
  12. Break open the clay on roast with a pestle and peel off the clay in large pieces.
  13. Peel open lotus leave and cut a few of the strings off.
  14. Accompanied with beef marrow bone drizzled with a vinaigrette of olive oil, parsley, finely chopped shallot and white wine vinegar

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Michael Scott’s Pretzel from The Office

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Michael Scott’s Pretzel from The Office

Michael Gary Scott has many monikers - practitioner of Propeica, spokesman for scotch & splenda, tormentor of Toby, and pioneer of pretzel paraphernalia. Not listed among these accolades is arterial health, as our sugar-hyped-hero forgoes a day's work for the sake of a fully-loaded pretzel, courtesy of Stanley's favorite annual visitor. Hope you've got your Gary Glitter cued up.

 

Ingredients

For Pretzels:

  • 2 Cups of whole milk
  • 2 Packets of active dry yeast
  • 6 Tablespoons of brown sugar
  • 3 ¼ cups of all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup of bread flour
  • 2 teaspoons of salt
  • 4 tablespoons of cooled melted butter
  • 4 cups of hot water and ½ cup baking soda combined
  • Rock salt or cinnamon sugar (½ cup sugar and 2 tablespoons of cinnamon combined) to top
  • Melted butter

 

Caramel Topping (From “Homer Simpson's Patented Space Age Out-Of-This-World Moon Waffles”):

  • ½ of water
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • 1 cup of heavy cream
  • ½ teaspoon of vanilla extract (optional)

 

Hot Fudge Sauce:

  • 4 tablespoons of butter
  • ½ cup of cocoa powder
  • ⅔ cup of chocolate chips
  • 2 cups of sugar
  • 1 can of sweetened condensed milk

 

Peanut Butter Drizzle:

  • ½ cup of heavy cream
  • ¼ cup of sugar
  • ¼ cup of light corn syrup
  • 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter
  • Little bit of vanilla paste (optional)
  • ½ cup of smooth peanut butter

 

Sweet Glaze:

  • 1 ½ cups of powdered sugar, sifted to remove lumps
  • 3-4 tablespoons of milk
  • 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (optional)


 

Other Toppings:

  • Cinnamon sugar
  • Melted chocolate
  • Melted white chocolate
  • M&Ms
  • Mint chips
  • Chocolate chips
  • Miniature marshmallows
  • Nuts (peanuts)
  • Toffee Nuts (Candied pecans)
  • Sweetened coconut flakes
  • Crushed Oreo
  • Multi-colored sprinkles
  • Cotton candy bits
  • Powdered sugar

Method

For Pretzels:

  1. In a small saucepan, heat milk to 110℉. Remove milk from heat, add yeast, and let sit for about 5 minutes, or until frothy and bubbly
  2. Put milk and yeast mixture into the bowl of a stand mixer and add the brown sugar, all-purpose flour, bread flour, salt, and butter. Knead mixture for 10 minutes using a dough hook attachment. Dough should not be sticky and should pull away from the sides of the bowl. If the dough is sticky, add a few tablespoons of flour.
  3. Place dough in a well-oiled, covered bowl and let rise in a warm place (on top of or inside an off oven is recommended) for 1 hour. This a great time to make your toppings! See the recipes below.
  4. Preheat oven to 450℉. Spray workspace with cooking spray. Unwrap the dough, which should have double in size, and divide into 12 equal pieces. Roll dough out into long strands that are about the thickness of your finger and 3 feet long. Grab dough by ends and twist around itself three times. Then, fold the dough on top of itself, forming a pretzel.
  5. Dip pretzels into hot water and baking soda mixture and place on baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Sprinkle rock salt or cinnamon sugar to top.
  6. Place pretzels into preheated oven for 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Turn pretzels halfway through to ensure even cooking.
  7. When finished and slightly cooled, brush with melted butter.
  8. Top with sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate drizzle, white chocolate drizzle, a smearing of hot fudge, M&Ms, caramel sauce, mint chips, chocolate chips, miniature marshmallows, nuts (peanuts), toffee nuts (candied pecans), coconut, peanut butter drizzle, crushed oreo, multi-colored jimmies (aka sprinkles), cotton candy bits, and a gentle snowfall of powdered sugar.
  9.  

Caramel Topping:

  1. In a saucepan, bring water and sugar to a boil. Stir gently, making sure the sugar doesn’t stick to the sides of the pan. Pour yourself a glass of scotch for color reference and bring the mixture to 350℉.
  2. While water and sugar are coming to a boil, heat heavy cream to almost boiling. Then, pour cream into water and sugar mixture a ¼ cup at a time. Continue to combine over low heat. Add vanilla extract if you desire.
  3. Set aside to cool and thicken

 

Hot Fudge Sauce:

  1. In a saucepan, combine butter, cocoa powder, chocolate chips, sugar, and condensed milk over heat and bring to a bare simmer
  2. Cook mixture for about 7 minutes or until a beautiful chocolate fudge sauce forms. Pour sauce into glass mason jar and set aside (note: this mixture may need to be microwaved to become pourable again after it has cooled and solidified)

 

Peanut Butter Drizzle:

  1. In a saucepan, combine heavy cream, sugar, light corn syrup, butter, and vanilla paste (if you desire) and heat until just steaming and all the ingredients are incorporated
  2. Let mixture cool slightly and then add peanut butter. Mix until smooth and then pour into a glass mason jar and set aside.

 

Sweet Glaze:

  1. Place sifted sugar into bowl and combine milk slowly until the mixture is a pourable glaze. Add vanilla extract, if you desire.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Special

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Special

Larry David fluctuates wildly between flagrantly eschewing and rigorously enforcing cultural mores, all of which frequently revolve around food. Slow ice cream orderers, religiously forbidden chicken, caviar entitlement - they're all fodder for Larry's machinations of social upheaval. Just don't eat the man's shrimp.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 Bagel
  • Whitefish Salad
  • Smoked Sable
  • Sliced White Onions
  • Cream Cheese
  • Capers

Method: The Larry David Sandwich   

  1. Toast the bagel

  2. Spread Whitefish salad on one half of the toasted bagel. Then, top with smoked sable, sliced white onions, and capers

  3. Spread cream cheese on other half of the bagel and join the two together to form a sandwich


Ingredients

For Coleslaw:

  • ½ cup of mayo
  • 2-3 tablespoons of cream
  • 3-4 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
  • 1-2 tablespoons of lemon juice
  • 1-2 teaspoons of white sugar
  • 2-3 tablespoons of greek yogurt
  • 1 crushed garlic clove
  • A generous sprinkle of paprika, mustard powder, and celery seed
  • Salt and pepper to taste

 

For Russian Dressing:

  • ½ cup Horseradish Sauce
  • ½ cup of Mayo
  • ¼ cup of Ketchup
  • A few dashes of hot sauce and worcestershire sauce
  • A generous sprinkle of paprika
  • ½ of a small finely chopped onion

 

For Sandwich:

  • 2 slices of bread
  • Mayo
  • Turkey
  • Swiss cheese

Method: The Ted Danson Sandwich

For Coleslaw:

  1. In a medium sized mixing bowl, combine mayo, cream, white wine vinegar, lemon juice, sugar, yogurt, and garlic. Season with paprika, mustard powder, and celery seed.
  2. Add coleslaw mix and combine

 

For Russian Dressing:

  1. In a medium mixing bowl, combine mayo, ketchup, hot sauce, worcestershire sauce, paprika, and onion.
  2. Refrigerate to combine

 

For Sandwich:

  1. Spread Mayo on one side of each slice of bread. In a pan over medium heat, place the bread mayo side down and toast until golden brown. Remove from pan and set aside.
  2. Over low heat, place several slices of turkey to warm and place slices of swiss on top to melt.
  3. Place turkey and swiss on a slice of the toasted bread. Top with a generous helping of coleslaw. Smear the opposing bread slice with russian dressing and stack it up

Ingredients

  • ½ a head of iceberg lettuce, chopped
  • ½ a bunch of watercress, chopped
  • 1 small bunch of endive, chopped
  • Chopped cooked bacon
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Chopped poached chicken
  • Diced tomatoes
  • Crumbled roquefort cheese
  • Diced avocado
  • Minced chives

For Dressing:

  • 2 tablespoons of water
  • 2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 teaspoon of “I don’t want to say it” (worcestershire) sauce
  • ½ teaspoon of ground mustard
  • 2 teaspoons of sugar (optional)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 clove of minced (not pressed) garlic
  • ¾ cup of canola oil

Method: Cobb Salad

For Dressing:

  1. In a medium bowl, combine the water, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, worcestershire sauce, ground mustard, sugar, salt, pepper, and garlic with a whisk.
  2. After the above ingredients are fully combined, slowly drizzle in the canola oil while still mixing with a whisk.

For Salad:

  1. Chop lettuce, watercress, and endive. Toss together in a medium bowl and set aside.
  2. Chop bacon, hard boiled eggs, and chicken. Dice avocado and tomatoes and mince chives. Keep all of these ingredients separate.
  3. Place a bed of the lettuce mixture on a plate. Stripe the top with bacon bits, chopped hard boiled eggs, chopped chicken, diced tomatoes, and avocado. Top with the minced chives and drizzle the dressing on.

Ingredients

For chicken:

  • Whole chicken
  • 1 cup of yogurt
  • 2 finely chopped shallots
  • Lemon zest
  • Juice of ½ lemon
  • ½ teaspoon cardamom
  • 1 teaspoon sumac
  • 1 bunch of chopped dill
  • A few pinches of kosher salt and pepper
  • A generous drizzle of olive oil

 

For garlic sauce (aka toum):

  • 2 heads of garlic
  • 1 cup of canola oil
  • ¼ cup of lemon juice

Method: Palestinian Chicken

For Chicken

  1. In medium bowl, combine yogurt, shallots, lemon zest and juice, cardamom, sumac, dill, salt and pepper, and olive oil. Set aside.
  2. Grab raw whole chicken and place on cutting board. Using a sharp pair of kitchen shears, cut along each side of the spine. Remove the spine. Snip the breast bone and then crack in half so that the chicken lays flat.
  3. Place chicken into a plastic gallon storage bag. Scoop yogurt marinade into bag. Seal bag completely and massage yogurt marinade into chicken to ensure it is completely coated.
  4. Place the plastic bag containing the chicken and its yogurt marinade onto a cooking sheet. Refrigerate overnight.
  5. Roast at 450℉ for 45-55 minutes. This is a really great time to make the garlic sauce. See the recipe below!
  6. Remove chicken from oven and let it rest for at least 10 minutes. The skin should be crispy.
  7. After it is slightly cooled, slice the chicken in half and carve the thigh and drumstick off. Serve with a heaping side of garlic sauce.

For garlic sauce (aka toum):

  1. Peel and separate the cloves of 2 heads of garlic. Puree the heads in a food processor. Once they are a paste, add a ½ cup of the canola oil very slowly.
  2. Add the lemon juice and drizzle the remaining canola oil in very slowly. The mixture should be a thick spreadable paste. Set aside until ready to use.

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