Himalayan Ketchup Inspired by Regular Show

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Himalayan Ketchup Inspired by Regular Show

Regular Show regularly shows some fantastical and impossible food items - sandwiches that kill you, wings that kill you, skydiving pizza pockets - but few are quite so worthy of recreation as the Ultimeatum, the burger-within-a-burger-between-two-burgers. And ketchup from the Himalayas. Follow along this week to see if we can beat Chef Ajay Maldonaldo at his own game.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil

  • 2 inch knob of ginger, peeled and grated

  • 3 inch knob of turmeric, peeled and grated

  • 1 bird’s eye chili, chopped

  • 3 cloves garlic, grated

  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

  • 2 teaspoons chili powder

  • 1/2 teaspoon mustard seed

  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

  • 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander

  • 1/2 teaspoon nigella seed

  • 1/2 cup malt vinegar

  • 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes

  • 1/3 cup brown sugar

  • 1 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt

Method

Makes 3 cups

  1. Heat olive oil in a large saucepan until shimmering.  Add ginger, turmeric, chili, garlic, cinnamon, chili powder, mustard seed, cumin, coriander, and nigella seed, and sauté for 1-2 minutes until fragrant.  Add vinegar and stir into a paste, followed by crushed tomatoes and brown sugar.  Stir until homogenous, and cook uncovered at a bare simmer for 1 hour.

  2. Pour the mixture into a high-powered blender, and blend on high speed for 3 minutes, until completely smooth.  Scrape through a fine mesh sieve, whisk in salt, and cool before serving.

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The Fitz Sandwich inspired by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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The Fitz Sandwich inspired by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Agent Fitz's favorite sandwich on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is a classic - prosciutto, mozzarella, and pesto aioli. Like any great sandwich or fictional superhero organization, it comes together to make something greater than the sum of its parts. That is until Ward so callously tosses it into the darkness for comic effect.

 

Ingredients

  • 1/4 teaspoon yeast

  • 1/2 cup room-temperature water

  • 5 ounces all-purpose flour

  • 10 ounces all-purpose flour

  • 1/2 teaspoon instant yeast

  • 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

  • 3/4 cup room temperature water

  • 1/4 cup room temperature milk

  • 1/4 cup toasted pine nuts

  • 1 cup packed basil leaves

  • 1 garlic clove

  • 3-4 tablespoons olive oil

  • Salt & pepper to taste

  • 1 egg yolk

  • 3 cloves garlic, grated

  • 1/4-1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

  • 1 pound San Daniele prosciutto

  • 2 six-ounce balls of buffalo mozzarella, sliced

  • 1 beefsteak tomato, sliced

  • 4 ounces baby arugula (rocket)

Method

Makes two 12” sandwiches

NOTE: There is an error in the episode - I specify 1 cup of water in the biga when it should actually be a 1/2 cup.  This recipe contains that correction!

  1. Make the biga: In a small bowl, combine first yeast, water, and flour - stir until a sticky paste forms.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let ferment at room temperature for at least 8 hours, up to 24.

  2. Combine the biga with the remaining ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer.  Mix for 1-2 minutes on medium speed, until the ingredients are homogenous.  Replace the paddle attachment with the dough hook, and knead on medium-high speed for 10 minutes, until dough is shiny and smooth.  Pull the dough off the hook and pour into a large oiled bowl.  Cover with plastic wrap and allow to rest for 30 minutes.

  3. After 30 minutes, remove the plastic wrap, oil a rubber spatula, and fold the dough onto itself 8 times, rotating the bowl so every part of the dough gets turned.  Replace the plastic wrap, rest for an additional 30 minutes, and repeat the process 2 more times.

  4. Preheat oven to 450F with a pizza stone set in the center of the oven.  Turn the dough out onto an extremely liberally-floured surface.  Divide into 3 equal pieces, and roughly shape each into a 12x9” rectangle, flouring underneath if the dough sticks.  Fold the dough onto itself like a letter, resulting in a 12x3” loaf.  Repeat with remaining pieces, and place each loaf on a sheet of parchment paper cut just larger than the size of the loaves.  Dust with flour, cover with plastic wrap, and let rest for another 20 minutes.

  5. Remove the plastic wrap, spray down the loaves with water from a spray bottle, and slide onto the pizza stone.  Bake for 22-30 minutes, until deeply golden brown on the outside, registering 210F inside.  Place on a wire rack and allow to cool completely before assembling the sandwich.

  6. Make the pesto aioli: In a small food processor or blender, combine pine nuts, basil, and olive oil.  Process until smooth, adding olive oil as necessary until a smooth pesto forms.  In a medium bowl, combine egg yolk and grated garlic.  Whisking vigorously and constantly, slowly stream olive oil down the side of the bowl.  Whisk the oil in until a thick aioli forms, and whisk in the pesto, seasoning with salt and pepper to taste.

  7. Assemble the sandwich: slice two loaves in half lengthwise, and generously spread pesto aioli on the top half.  On the bottom half, begin shingling slices of prosciutto folded in half, until you have at least two layers of prosciutto.  Top the meat with slices of buffalo mozzarella, followed by tomatoes, and arugula.  Place the top on the sandwich, slice in half, and serve, repeating with second sandwich.

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Courtesan au Chocolat inspired by Grand Budapest Hotel

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Courtesan au Chocolat inspired by Grand Budapest Hotel

Wes Anderson's films are rife with clashing color schemes, furrow-browed pedantry, and rich character development set against an oddly symmetrical backdrop. In the case of The Grand Budapest Hotel, it's also home to a pastry as precious as its parentage. The Courtesan au Chocolat, a delicate tower of puffed up pâtissière and saccharine masonry, is the challenge faced this week in the BwB kitchen.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 cup flour

  • Pinch of salt

  • Pinch of sugar

  • 1 cup water

  • 3/4 cup butter, divided

  • 4 eggs

  • 1/4 cup sugar

  • 1 tablespoon flour

  • 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

  • 3 egg yolks

  • 3 cups whole milk, divided

  • 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped

  • 3 cups confectioner’s sugar, divided

  • 12 cocoa beans

  • Food coloring

  • 4 ounces white chocolate

Method

Makes 12 servings

  1. Make the pâte à choux: Whisk together flour, salt, and sugar in a bowl, and set aside.  Combine water and 1/2 cup butter in a saucepan over medium heat, and stir until butter has melted.  Add flour mixture and stir with a wooden spoon over medium-low heat until dough pulls away from the sides of the pan and forms a ball.  Remove from the heat and allow to cool 1 minute before adding eggs and stirring until homogenous.

  2. Fill pastry bag with choux dough and on a silicone baking sheet or parchment paper, pipe 1/2”, 1”, and 1 1/2” rounds of dough.  Bake at 400F for 15-20 minutes, or until risen and golden.  Allow to cool completely.

  3. Make the crème pâtissière: in a large bowl, whisk together sugar, flour, cornstarch, and egg yolks.  In a saucepan over medium-low flame, heat 2 cups of the milk until steaming.  Add the chocolate and whisk until completely incorporated - do not allow to boil.  Whisking constantly, pour half the chocolate mixture into the flour and egg mixture, beating until fully incorporated.  Return this mixture to the remaining milk and chocolate in the saucepan, and stir over low heat until thickened.  Refrigerate until cooled completely.

  4. Make the icings: In a medium bowl, whisk confectioners sugar while slowly pouring in milk, until a thin glaze is formed.  Divide into 3 smaller bowls, and color with purple, green, and pink food colorings.

  5. In another medium bowl, combine remaining confectioner’s sugar, butter, and 1 tablespoon milk.  With an electric hand mixer running, slowly drizzle in more milk until a thick frosting is formed.  Color with blue food coloring.

  6. Assemble the Courtesan au Chocolat: Using a small knife, cut a hole in the bottom of each choux ball.  Pipe the choux full of crème pâtissière, and dip the top of the choux in the different colored glazes - purple for the largest, green for the medium-sized, and pink for the smallest.  

  7. In a double boiler, melt white chocolate completely, and allow to cool until handleable.  Combine with yellow food coloring, and using a very small pastry bag tip, pipe a filigree of white chocolate on each choux ball.

  8. Pipe a dollop of blue frosting on the center of a large choux ball, and top with the medium, repeating with the smallest.  Top the smallest with another dot of blue frosting, and top that with a single cocoa bean before serving.

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Puerco Pibil inspired by Once Upon a Time in Mexico

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Puerco Pibil inspired by Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Once Upon a Time in Mexico, against all odds, played a large role in the creation of BwB - my first-ever DVD, its special features showed me that I could one day be a filmmaker *and* a chef. In this 2003 Banderas action-comedy, Johnny Depp inexplicably caps a cook for making this Yucatánian special a bit too perfectly; as director Robert Rodriguez says, make at your own peril.

 

Ingredients

  • 5 tablespoons annatto seeds

  • 1 tablespoon black peppercorns

  • 1 teaspoon cloves

  • 2 teaspoons cumin seed

  • 8 allspice berries

  • 1/2 cup orange juice

  • 1/2 cup white vinegar

  • 5 lemons, juiced

  • 2 habanero peppers, seeded and chopped

  • 2 tablespoons salt

  • Splash of quality anejo tequila

  • 5 pounds pork butt, trimmed and cut into 2” cubes

  • 2 banana leaves, cut into 16” segments

  • Cooked white rice

  • Lime slices

  • Cilantro

  • 1 red onion, sliced

  • 4 cups apple cider vinegar

  • 1 tablespoon mustard seeds

  • Corn tortillas

Method

Makes 4-6 servings

  1. Toast annatto seeds, peppercorns, cloves, cumin, and allspice in a dry sauté pan for 3-5 minutes over medium heat, until fragrant.  Pour into a spice grinder and process into a fine powder, 2-3 minutes.

  2. In a blender, combine orange juice, vinegar, lemon juice, habanero peppers, salt, tequila, and ground spices.  Blend on high speed for 30-60 seconds, until well-combined.  Combine marinade and pork in a large plastic bag, massage until evenly coated, and allow to marinate for 30 minutes.

  3. Preheat oven to 325F.  Line a deep casserole with banana leaves, and pour pork into the center.  Wrap banana leaves around the pork, seal tightly with aluminum foil, and roast for 4 hours.

  4. Serve with rice, lime slices, and cilantro.

  5. To serve with tacos: while pork roasts, combine red onion and mustard seeds in a large heatproof bowl, and cover with boiling apple cider vinegar.  Let steep for 30 minutes, and serve over tacos.

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Monster Cake inspired by Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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Monster Cake inspired by Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Zelda: Breath of the Wild may very well be the first open-world RPG developed for the Switch, released in 2017, not including DLC, to so prominently feature cooking in its story and strategy. At least it will be in my mind until someone angrily corrects me in the comments. Seldom have fruits and vegetables dancing in a wok over an open fire yielded so many hearty stews, stamina potions, and pixelated monstrosities.

 

Ingredients

  • 6 ounces white chocolate

  • 1/4 cup corn syrup

  • Violet food coloring/ube extract

  • 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

  • 3 teaspoons baking powder

  • 3/4 cup sugar

  • 1 teaspoon salt

  • 7 large eggs, separated

  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil

  • 3/4 cup whole milk

  • 4 ounces grated ube (or other purple/white yam)

  • 3-4 teaspoons ube extract

  • Violet food coloring as necessary

  • 3/4 cup sugar

  • 8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

  • 4 ounces goat butter (or normal unsalted butter), at room temperature

  • 4 cups sifted powdered sugar

  • 1-2 teaspoons ube extract/violet food coloring

  • 4 ounces durian meat (or other tropical fruit - coconut, pineapple, mango would work very well)

  • Brown food coloring as necessary

Method

Makes six 4” cakes

  1. Melt white chocolate in a double boiler.  Fold in corn syrup, mix until homogenous and a thick paste forms.  Wrap in plastic wrap and allow to set in a cool room for 24 hours.  Remove from plastic wrap, add a few drops of ube extract or food coloring, and fold into the chocolate until the desired color is achieved.  If the chocolate starts to become oily, add a bit of sifted corn starch.  Shape into horns and set aside, refrigerating if the chocolate needs to firm up.

  2. Preheat oven to 350F.  Sift together flour, baking powder, first sugar, and salt.  Whisk to combine.  In a separate bowl, whisk together egg yolks, vegetable oil, milk, ube, ube extract, and food coloring, until a deep purple color is achieved, and whisk together with dry ingredients..  In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat egg whites until light and frothy.  Add second sugar, and beat with the whisk attachment until glossy stiff peaks form.  Gently fold the egg whites into the cake batter, taking care not to deflate them.

  3. Lightly oil 4” mini springform pans (or a cupcake pan or large casserole), and fill 3/4 full with cake batter.  Bake for 35-40 minutes, until a tester comes out clean, and the exterior of the cake is golden brown.  Remove from the oven, allow to cool 10 minutes, and remove from springforms/cake pans.  Allow to cool completely on a wire rack.

  4. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together cream cheese and butter.  Add sifted powdered sugar and mix slowly, gradually increasing mixer speed as sugar is incorporated, until a thick frosting forms.  Divide in half, and mix first half of frosting with ube extract until light purple.  Beat together second half with durian or fruit of choice, coloring with brown food color as necessary until the correct color is achieved.

  5. Assemble the cakes: slice the cakes in half latitudinally, and spread on a generous layer of light purple frosting.  Top with top half of cake, pipe on a cone of durian frosting, and press white chocolate horns into each side of the frosting.

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