"We need to cook" takes on nefarious new meaning when grumbled by everyone's favorite sociopathic chemistry teacher - or his meth head sidekick. Breaking Bad assaults the senses with striking visuals and heart wrenching storylines, all while teasing the tastebuds with promises of dipping sticks. Follow along this week as we whip up a batch of slightly-less-illicit crystal blue persuasion. Bitch.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 packet instant rise yeast
  • ¼ cup dried non-fat milk
  • 15g of sugar
  • 1 ½ cup warm water
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • 500g of all purpose flour
  • 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
  • ⅓ cup vegetable oil
  • Butter flavored Pam
  • 1 Tbsp onion powder
  • 2 Tbsp garlic powder
  • 1 Tbsp dried oregano
  • 1 Tbsp dried basil
  • Ground pepper
  • Kosher salt
  • ¼ cup parmesan cheese
  • Marinara sauce

Method: Dippin' Sticks

  1. Combine 1 packet of instant rise yeast,¼ of dry non-fat milk, about 15 grams of sugar, 1 ½ cups of warm water and 1 tsp of kosher salt.
  2. Mix together and let it get a little foamy for 3-5 minutes before adding 500g of all purpose flour and 2 Tbsp of vegetable oil. Knead mixture on medium high speed for 5-8 minutes before a tacky ball of dough forms.
  3. Flour your countertop and turn the dough out on top. Pat and stretch to a 9x13 inch rectangle. Add ⅓ cup of vegetable oil to a casserole, and place your dough inside. Pat it into the corners until it fills the casserole, and cover with plastic wrap.
  4. Set aside and let it rise for 60-90 minutes or until it has doubled in size.
  5. Leave the dough in the casserole, cut into one inch sticks, (about the size of the ones you’d get at Pizza Hut) and spray with butter flavored Pam.
  6. In a small bowl combine the onion powder, garlic powder, dried oregano, dried basil, ground pepper, kosher salt, and parmesan cheese. Mix all of those together and cover the top of the breadsticks.
  7. Place in a 475° F oven for 15-20 minutes.

Ingredients

  • Stock From Skinner’s Stew Episode
  • 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 small chopped onion
  • Garlic
  • ½ cup dry white wine
  • Cod
  • Shrimp
  • Sea scallops
  • Squid
  • Mussels
  • Manilla clams
  • 2 cups of water
  • Cilantro
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Method: Paella Marina

  1. Make the stock from The Principal Skinner Stew Episode.
  2. After you’ve made and strained the pot, wipe the pot clean and add 2 Tbsp of vegetable oil to which you will add 1 small chopped onion.
  3. Let the onion sweat a little bit before adding thinly sliced garlic and sauteé for 1-2 minutes.
  4. Deglaze with ½ cup of dry white wine and our seafood stock.
  5. Add up to 2 cups of water if necessary.
  6. Add your seafood: cod, shrimp, sea scallops, squid, mussels and manilla clams.
  7. Cover with the lid of your pot and let cook for 5-8 minutes or until the clams and mussels have opened.
  8. Season liberally with salt and pepper.
  9. Ladle some generous portions, making sure to include a little bit of everything, and garnish with cilantro.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 cup of water
  • 4 cups of sugar
  • 1 ¼ cups light corn syrup
  • Blue food coloring
  • Flavorants (optional)

 

Method: Candy Meth

  1. Combine 1 cup of water, 4 cups of sugar, 1 ¼ cups light corn syrup, and some blue food coloring.
  2. Stir only until all the sugar has dissolved and then cease stirring until mixture has reached 300° F. At this point you can add flavorants like cotton candy or something similar.
  3. Pour onto aluminum baking sheet and let cool completely for 1 hour.
  4. Use the butt end of a wooden spoon, and smash until it looks like meth.