Michael Gary Scott has many monikers - practitioner of Propeica, spokesman for scotch & splenda, tormentor of Toby, and pioneer of pretzel paraphernalia. Not listed among these accolades is arterial health, as our sugar-hyped-hero forgoes a day's work for the sake of a fully-loaded pretzel, courtesy of Stanley's favorite annual visitor. Hope you've got your Gary Glitter cued up.
- 2 cups of whole milk
- 2 packets of active dry yeast
- 6 Tbsp of brown sugar
- 3 ¼ cups of all-purpose flour
- 1 cup of bread flour
- 2 teaspoons of salt
- 4 Tbsp of cooled melted butter
- 4 cups of hot water and ½ cup baking soda combined
- Rock salt or cinnamon sugar (½ cup sugar and 2 Tbsp of cinnamon combined) to top
- Melted butter
Caramel Topping (From “Homer Simpson's Patented Space Age Out-Of-This-World Moon Waffles”):
- ½ of water
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 cup of heavy cream
- ½ teaspoon of vanilla extract (optional)
Hot Fudge Sauce:
- 4 tablespoons of butter
- ½ cup of cocoa powder
- ⅔ cup of chocolate chips
- 2 cups of sugar
- 1 can of sweetened condensed milk
Peanut Butter Drizzle:
- ½ cup of heavy cream
- ¼ cup of sugar
- ¼ cup of light corn syrup
- 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter
- Little bit of vanilla paste (optional)
- ½ cup of smooth peanut butter
- 1 ½ cups of powdered sugar, sifted to remove lumps
- 3-4 tablespoons of milk
- 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (optional)
- Cinnamon sugar
- Melted chocolate
- Melted white chocolate
- Mint chips
- Chocolate chips
- Miniature marshmallows
- Nuts (peanuts)
- Toffee Nuts (Candied pecans)
- Sweetened coconut flakes
- Crushed Oreo
- Multi-colored sprinkles
- Cotton candy bits
- Powdered sugar
- In a small saucepan, heat milk to 110℉. Remove milk from heat, add yeast and let sit for about 5 minutes, or until frothy and bubbly
- Put milk and yeast mixture into the bowl of a stand mixer and add the brown sugar, all-purpose flour, bread flour, salt, and butter. Knead mixture for 10 minutes using a dough hook attachment. Dough should not be sticky and should pull away from the sides of the bowl. If the dough is sticky, add a few tablespoons of flour.
- Place dough in a well-oiled, covered bowl and let rise in a warm place (on top of or inside an off oven is recommended) for 1 hour. This a great time to make your toppings! See the recipes below.
- Preheat oven to 450℉. Spray workspace with cooking spray. Unwrap the dough, which should have double in size, and divide into 12 equal pieces. Roll dough out into long strands that are about the thickness of your finger and 3 feet long. Grab dough by ends and twist around itself three times. Then, fold the dough on top of itself, forming a pretzel.
- Dip pretzels into the hot water and baking soda mixture and place on baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Sprinkle rock salt or cinnamon sugar to top.
- Place pretzels into preheated oven for 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Turn pretzels halfway through to ensure even cooking.
- After the Pretzels have slightly cooled, brush them with melted butter.
- Top with sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate drizzle, white chocolate drizzle, a smearing of hot fudge, M&Ms, caramel sauce, mint chips, chocolate chips, miniature marshmallows, nuts (peanuts), toffee nuts (candied pecans), coconut, peanut butter drizzle, crushed oreo, multi-colored jimmies (aka sprinkles), cotton candy bits, and a gentle snowfall of powdered sugar.
- In a saucepan, bring water and sugar to a boil. Stir gently, making sure the sugar doesn’t stick to the sides of the pan. Pour yourself a glass of scotch for color reference and bring the mixture to 350℉.
- While water and sugar are coming to a boil, heat heavy cream to almost boiling. Then, pour cream into water and sugar mixture a ¼ cup at a time. Continue to combine over low heat. Add vanilla extract if you desire.
- Set aside to cool and thicken
Hot Fudge Sauce:
- In a saucepan, combine butter, cocoa powder, chocolate chips, sugar, and condensed milk over heat and bring to a bare simmer
- Cook mixture for about 7 minutes or until a beautiful chocolate fudge sauce forms. Pour sauce into glass mason jar and set aside (note: this mixture may need to be microwaved to become pourable again after it has cooled and solidified)
Peanut Butter Drizzle:
- In a saucepan, combine heavy cream, sugar, light corn syrup, butter, and vanilla paste (if you desire) and heat until just steaming and all the ingredients are incorporated
- Let mixture cool slightly and then add peanut butter. Mix until smooth and then pour into a glass mason jar and set aside.
- Place sifted sugar into bowl and combine milk slowly until the mixture is a pourable glaze. Add vanilla extract, if you desire.