If you're going to torpedo your diet, you might as well go down in a blaze of glory - and that's exactly what Gina Linetti does with wild abandon in Brooklyn Nine-Nine when she whips out a Sloppy Jessica. Please don't make this - like I'm not gonna stop you, but you honestly shouldn't eat this. But maybe though.
- Ancho chilis (3-4 depending on size)
- 2 tsp cumin
- 2 tsp ground coriander
- 2 tsp paprika
- 1-2 canned chipotles in adobo (depending on heat preference)
- 1 lb ground beef
- 1 small onion, diced
- 2 cloves of garlic
- 1 can diced tomatoes
- 1 small diced onion
- Olive oil
- 1-2 cloves of garlic
- 1 can pureed tomatoes
- 1 can diced tomatoes
- Dried oregano
- 1 sprig of basil
Mac and cheese
- 1 box ziti noodles
- 3 Tbsp butter
- 3 Tbsp flour
- 3 cups of whole milk
- Dried mustard
- Hot sauce
- 1 lb grated yellow cheddar cheese
- 4-5 ounces of grated parmesan
- Mozzarella cheese
- French bread
- Begin by toasting your ancho chilis until they just barely start to smoke and then place in boiling water for 10 minutes.
- In a blender add the chilis and water along with 2 tsp each of cumin, ground coriander seed, paprika, and 1-2 canned chipotles in adobo sauce (depending on your heat preference) and blend together.
- In a pan, brown 1 pound of ground beef. Once browned, remove from the pan. Put a chopped onion and 2 cloves of minced garlic into the pan to cook in the beef fat. Once fragrant and translucent, add ancho chili mixture, 1 can of diced tomatoes, and the ground beef. Stir to combine, season with salt and pepper, and set aside.
Mac and Cheese
- Cook 1 box of ziti noodles in a large pot. Once cooked, drain pasta and set aside.
- In the same pot whisk together 3 Tbsp flour and 3 Tbsp butter. Once combined, slowly add 3 cups of whole milk. Mix and scrape sides until everything is fully combined. Also add 1 Tbsp of ground mustard and a little bit of hot sauce.
- Add 1 pound of grated yellow cheddar cheese along with 4-5 ounces of grated parmesan cheese and mix until fully melted and combined.
- Add the pasta to the mix and stir until fully combined. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.
- In a pan, heat some olive oil before adding 1 small chopped onion and cook for a few minutes until soft and translucent. Add 1-2 cloves of garlic and cook briefly.
- Add a 50:50 mix of diced and pureed tomatoes along with a few pinches of dried oregano and 1 sprig of basil. Simmer for 45 minutes to an hour or until mixture has slightly thickened.
- Season with salt and pepper, and set aside.
Assembling the Sloppy Jessica
- Cut french bread in half lengthwise. Add mozzarella cheese on both halves, topped with the red sauce, more mozzarella and some grated parmesan.
- Place in a 425°F oven until cheese is melted.
- Combine your mac and cheese with your chili and mix together to make chili mac.
- Remove french bread from oven and top with chili mac mixture.
- Fold bread in half to make sandwich. Cut in half. Serve and enjoy!