This weekend we're welcoming back the show that has the monopoly on lurid violence, epic battles, and wholly unnecessary nudity: Game of Thrones. George R.R. Martin's ability to describe the crunching of a skull is rivaled only by his ability to describe the crunching of a pastry, so it's only fitting that this sexy saga is home to some serious food porn. And revenge porn. And porn porn. I'm a main character in this show, so my life is decidedly in danger this week.



  • 7 ounces all purpose flour

  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt

  • 6 ounces unsalted butter, cold, cut into 1” pieces

  • 2-3 tbsp ice water

  • 1 pound pork fat, finely diced

  • 1 medium spanish onion, diced

  • 2 tablespoons rolled oats

  • 1 tablespoon smoked paprika

  • 1 teaspoon paprika

  • 1 teaspoon allspice

  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

  • 1 cup heavy cream

  • 2 cups pig’s blood

  • 4 ounces goat’s cheese

  • 2 large figs, quartered


Makes 1 9.5" pie

  1. In a food processor, pulse to combine flour and salt.  Add butter chunks, and pulse until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.  Pour into a large bowl, and while folding with a spatula, sprinkle ice water over top, until a shaggy dough forms.  Pat out into a 5” wide disc, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate at least an hour - up to overnight.

  2. In a high-walled frying pan, sauté pork fat until translucent, about 5 minutes.  Add onion and sweat for an additional 10 minutes, until onions are soft.  Remove from heat and allow to cool completely.

  3. Preheat oven to 350F.  Remove pie dough from plastic wrap and pound out until it’s double its original width.  Begin to roll out the dough, making sure not to overwork it, until it’s about 1/8” thick.  Drape over a liberally-greased pie plate, and trim the edges as desired.  Line the bottom of the pie with parchment paper, weigh down with pie weights or dried beans and par-bake for 10 minutes, or until beginning to turn golden.  

  4. Add oats, smoked paprika, paprika, allspice, nutmeg, heavy cream, and blood to onion/fat mixture.  Mix well to combine, remove parchment paper and weights, and fill with blood mixture.  Bake for 20 minutes at 350F, until pie just begins to set.  Top with goat cheese and figs, bake for an additional 10 minutes, and allow to cool for an hour before serving.