This week we're celebrating hitting 2 million subscribers with maybe the most cartoonish cartoon food ever imagined: the every-meat burrito. While we were unable to procure any giraffe, jackal, or naked mole rat, the combination of every commercially-available meat ended up tasting like something far worse than chicken. Follow along as we get that taste out of our mouth with the every-pork burrito!



  • Big tortillas
  • Chicharron
  • Carnitas
  • Chorizo
  • Al pastor
  • Bacon
  • Baking soda
  • Salt
  • 1 orange
  • Serrano peppers, halved
  • Vegetable oil
  • Whole onion, chopped
  • Pepper
  • 4 bay leaves
  • 6 whole cloves, halved
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • Bamboo skewers
  • Pineapple
  • 2 limes
  • 2 cups long grain white rice
  • Salsa
  • Sour cream
  • Monterey jack cheese



Spice Paste

  • 5 guajillo chiles
  • 5 pasilla chiles
  • Onion powder
  • A few cloves of garlic
  • Shake of cumin
  • Mexican oregano
  • Ground annatto seeds


For Chicharron

  1. Cover meat in baking soda and salt and refrigerate on a rack for 2-24 hours.
  2. Once removed from the fridge, cut the pork belly into half inch pieces.
  3. Place the meat in a wok and barely cover with water, bring to a boil, and skim off any scum that comes to the surface for the next 2-4 hours.
  4. Cook down until pork belly is rendering in its own fat.

Spice Paste

  1. Boil the guajillo and pasilla chiles for about 15 minutes or until they're nice and soft.
  2. Strain them and reserve their boiling liquids.
  3. Remove the seeds from each pepper.
  4. Return the peppers to the liquid once they’ve been deemed seedless.
  5. Add peppers to a high powered blender with a shake of onion powder, a few cloves of fresh garlic, a little shake of cumin powder, a generous pinch of Mexican oregano, and a spirited sprinkling of freshly ground annatto seeds
  6. Blend on high for about 1 minute.


Al Pastor

  1. Break down pork shoulder into slices no thicker than ¼ inch.
  2. Once broken down, add pork to a bowl along with spice paste marinade and gently massage until all the meat is coated.
  3. Cover bowl in tin foil and place in the fridge for 2-3 hours.
  4. Cut the pineapple at the bottom so you have a piece that is about 2 inches tall. Place two bamboo skewers next to each other. Place meat over the skewers making a makeshift shawarma.
  5. Cut the top of the pineapple and place that on top.
  6. Place in a 350° oven, right up against the side wall of the oven, rotating frequently to get that charred shawarma effect.
  7. Remove from oven and shave off meat much like a shawarma, and set aside.


  1. Preheat oven to 275°
  2. Add carnitas to a baking dish.
  3. Cut one orange into quarters and squeeze the juice over the carnitas. Take the squeezed orange flesh and add to the mixed meat mixture.
  4. Add 2 serrano peppers (halved) to the mixture along with a whole onion (chopped), a generous pour of vegetable oil,  kosher salt, and pepper.
  5. Also add 4 fresh bay leaves, 6 cloves of garlic (halved), and 2 cinnamon sticks.
  6. Mix everything together and cover in tin foil.
  7. Place in the oven for 3 ½ hours.
  8. Once cooked, uncover, and remove meat from spices. Start shredding until all carnitas is shredded.
  9. Set aside and refrigerate until needed.


  1. Take 3 cups of boiling water, adding 2 squeezed limes and a shake of cumin along with 2 cups of long grain white rice in a casserole tightly covered with aluminum foil and bake for 20-25 minutes at 400°.


  1. Cook some bacon in a pan. Remove bacon and use the fat to crisp up Chicharron and carnitas.
  2. Take a large tortilla and spread down a base layer of white lime rice and a few slices of our chorizo sausage.
  3. Next add the crispy chicharron and carnitas. Then comes the al pastor. Top that with some monterey jack cheese, salsa, sour cream and bacon.
  4. Roll up and enjoy!