Green eggs and ham aren't the culinary limits of Doctor Seuss - fantastical foods are peppered throughout his fantasy pastel worlds of whimsical, wondiferous words. Follow along this week, while we try not to rhyme, as we take a crack at roast beast, for the very first time. Damn it.



  • 1 pound pork sausage

  • ¼ cup red onion, diced

  • ½ cup celery, diced

  • 5 cups of cornbread

  • 1 whole turkey

  • ½ cup cranberries

  • 1 ½ cups chicken Stock

  • Vegetable oil

  • Salt

  • Pepper


  1. Begin by browning your pork sausage. Once browned and broken up into tiny pieces, transfer to a plate and set aside.

  2. Next dice ½ a cup of celery, and ¼ cup of red onion Sauté in the same pan you cooked the sausage in for about 3-4 minutes.

  3. Cut up 5 cups of cornbread into bite sized pieces and add them to a large bowl along with your red onion, celery, cooked pork sausage, 1 ½ cups of chicken stock, and ½ cup of cranberries. Mix to combine.

  4. Next you want to debone your turkey. Start at the backbone on one side of the turkey and make shallow cuts around the carcass until you reach the breast bone. Repeat on the other side of the turkey. Then, being very careful, continue to make small shallow cuts, making sure not to pierce the skin. Separate the breastbone from the turkey. Leave the wing and leg bones in, but remove the thigh bone.

  5. Make sure the meat of the turkey is dispersed evenly. If needed, give it a good pound with a mallet or the bottom of a pan to even everything out.

  6. Liberally season with salt and pepper, and then add your stuffing mixture. Fold the turkey in on itself and then tie tightly with butcher twine at one inch intervals up the length of the turkey. Also tie the drumsticks together and then cut off the excess twine. Season the exterior liberally with salt and pepper. Also cover with some vegetable oil to help the skin brown.

  7. Place the turkey in a pan and tuck the wing tips underneath the body and wrap the drumsticks in a little bit of foil.

  8. Place in the oven at 450°F for 15 minutes and then turn the temperature down to 350°F and cook for 1 ½ - 2 hours or until the thickest part of the stuffing registers 155°F.

  9. Remove from the pan and place on a wire rack to rest for 30 minutes.

  10. Slice the turkey and top with gravy that was made from the carcass which you can learn to do HERE.

  11. Serve and enjoy!